Scott and Jeff - Recently Updated Pages

The Scott and Jeff Show

jhefel — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 16:15:15 CDT

BREAKING NEWS-Scott and Jeff spotted at lunch in remote Wisconsin hideaway.
Rumors abound about a reunion!!!!

This site is now a memorial to Scott and Jeff, perhaps the greatest college radio duo in history! Circumstances force us to remember them fondly as their radio careers have abruptly ended. It truly was a magical ride!!!! This site will be around for a bit longer to allow grieving fans to ponder what might have been!

Mission Statement of the Scott and Jeff Show

jhefel — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 10:56:18 CDT

Our mission is to entertain ourselves. We believe if we laugh, the world will laugh.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED-GAME OVER!

(stolen from a partner S@J website found at http://scottandjeff.cookiejarnuts.com/drupal2/

What if Scott and Jeff....?

jhefel — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 17:37:20 CDT

got cancelled? Thursdays changed for all!

Rest in Peace

jhefel — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 17:36:43 CDT

Abruptly it all ended....farewell to our listeners.

What the Critics have to say

jhefel — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 17:35:22 CDT

"That's good radio" - Brian Knetl

"It's worse in person." - Monique

"You guys are terrible, I laughed my butt off." - Dave Sokowlowski

"I gave up Thursday afternoon grocery shopping to listen to you guys." - Teresa Speck

"I can't wait until live 365 picks you up." - John Morgan

"Would you please tape the show for me" - Skee

"This show completes me" - A fan

"Can Deml and Hefel guest lecture in our class?" Ms. Mc Callum's BU452A class

"I visited your website, it was hilarious." Tony Gruenke

"As an industry professional, I found your show lacked formatic production value and generally made me want to vomit. I never miss it. Harry Ness(alias Dave Dicke Home 101-air personality)

"It's different, but its good" Eddie Harris

"The internet is not big enough for you two guys." Matt Klosky

"Sounds like the best reason I know to live in MN." OBX Amy

"Didn't listen, but that's a great web page." PH Pole

"It sounds even better over the internet" - Shelly

"I was duly impressed" - Brother Chris

"This show can't go any further down" - Tricia Klosky

"You carry it well."- Dr. Martin Judd Ph D

"You guys are my heros." Dr. Dr. Dr. dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Matt Klosky

"I took a look at your WIKI." Monta

"You guys have made my afternoon!!!!! The last hour and a half has been terrible, but 5 minutes of your show has lightened my spirit, lifted my load, and basically made me an all around better person. I need to nominate you for some type of award." Skee

"Your show is so great. It is really like a bad fart. So offensive you can't stand it, yet so curious you have to take a second smell." Jay Skranka

"You guys keep getting better and better." Dr. Steven B. Pattee
"Seems like a lot of preparation goes into your show." Dr. John Morgan

"Got the CD's of your show. You guys are hilarious." Dr. John Morgan

"You guys are really funny." Nick Whaley, baseball coach at SMU

"Spectacular Show!" uttered by everyone who has ever listened.

"Scott and Jeff Rule!!" Jeff May

"This out-of-state “Scott and Jeff Show” fan sure wishes those tech people would figure out that Internet streaming so I could get try and access the show. It’s Thursday afternoon and I know the award-winning humor and music will be on the airwaves. I could sure use some of that “Scott and Jeff” joke telling today and “recipe sharing for the fall season” and all the other fun stuff. Hi Jeff hopefully you can share the above info with those tech people explain that you guys have fans all over the country maybe even outside the country and your show cannot be accessed!!!" Lisa T.

Why Why Why? Fans upon hearing news of The END!

The Schedule

jhefel — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 17:34:25 CDT

Scott and Jeff Events

Date	Time	Activity	Venue
June		nothing	Galesville
July		nothing	Galesville
August 19	15 random seconds	Show Preparation	Galesville and Winona
August 30	3:00PM	Season Opener	KSMR Booth
Sept-April	3:00PM	Shows	KSMR Booth
May 1, 2008	5AM-5PM	Habitat Marathon	KSMR Booth
Sept 21 2007	6PM-9PM	Jello Wrestling	SMU
Jan 11,2008	3-5PM	Farewell Show	KSMR Booth



May 6 2021	5:00PM	The Show Ends	The White House

The History of Scott and Jeff

jhefel — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 17:32:56 CDT

Born: January 8, 2003
Planned Breakup: May 6, 2021

Their miraculous story:

Well, first there was a giant nothing. The universe was a void.

Bang! Scott and Jeff arrive on the scene. The void is filled.

Ever since they arrived, Scott and Jeff have been expanding.

They have finally contracted-the 5 year run is over! Thanks for the memories.

Crush or Stay?

jhefel — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 19:44:16 CDT

T-Bone has somehow muscled himself to a second segment on the premier radio show in North America. In this new bit, assorted objects will be placed on his product filled hair "foof"(see Glossary on Website) Callers hedge bets on whether object crushes or stays on his "foof."

Summary of events:

August 30 Bic Pen-STAYS
Sept 6-Smuckers Peanut Butter Individual 21 gram serving-CRUSHES
Sept 13 Oreo Doublestuff Cookie(Chocolate) STAYS
Sept 20 Shiny 2004 Lincoln Penny-STAYS
October 4 Stale Frosted Mini Wheat-STAYS
Nov 1 10 inch batteryless analog clock-CRUSHES

A Scott and Jeff Glossary

jhefel — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 20:27:27 CDT

Your guide to better understanding the world that is Scott and Jeff. Naturally, this is not in alphabetical order.

Scott-one of two DJ's who appears semi-regularly on show(weather permitting). His name is first because it sounds good and he was invited by college station manager to become a DJ. The rest is radio history.

Jeff-old guy asked by Scott to form this duo. They debuted Jan 8, 2003 and have not looked back. He has spent last years trying to rekindle his youth. Was first to decide that show would end in 2021.

Music to Quilt By-segment created to honor Teresa Speck who teaches with these bozos and likes quilting. Teresa was a regular listener till 2006-2007 season. Guess she's heard enough!

Tapped Object Contest-a bit created by Scott. DJ's grab random object and smack microphone. A very occasional caller tries to guess what it is. If they get it right they win some food that is never healthy. To date there have been two winners.

Regal Ben Huegel-it rhymes so the two DJ's say it frequently in reference to colleague Ben Huegel who has been a frequent guest, sometimes fill in, often coach, and now disinterested person. Guess, he's heard enough.

Matt-also goes by Skeechic, Skee, Klosky, Intrepid Researcher, Project Manager, "Our People" and Greater Klosky. A lonely telecommuter who looks forward to Thursday afternoon's during the school year. Developer of the original website as well as "homemade" streaming of the show. His role on show has morphed. He "gets" Scott and Jeff.

T-Bone-reads "Meat of Week." Thinks about Meat, eats meat. Likes every horror movie ever made except "Bug." Earliest regular guest on show. Sometimes referred to as Dean or Mac Daddy.

Skating Poet-aka Dave Sokolowski. The always capricious character who was responsible for some of biggest laughs in Scott and Jeff History. Who can forget
Muskrat Mascots, Pets in the Office, How much is that Doggie Karaoke and Valentines Gift Buying advice. Shows up about twice a year now-guess He's heard enough.

McCallum Medley-named for Shelly McCallum former colleague. She doesn't currently listen to show. Guess she's heard enough.

Habitat for Humanity-charity chosen randomly by Scott and Jeff to throw their name behind. Surprisingly no "cease and desist" orders have resulted. The Duo have raised over $5000 for them with their radioathons.

Dr. Peach-a recent internet poll named him best character in Scott and Jeff History. Proposed philosophical dilemmas. DJ's nearly wet themselves with laughter with each appearance. Like a "candle in the wind" he was snuffed out too
soon. The "throaty dolphin noise" has left a lasting impression though.

Audio Train Wreck-descriptor given of show by often out of work actor, Mike S.

Donna, Donna, Donna White-bookstore manager who learned management from Jeff. Often uses DJ's to push slow moving bookstore merchandise.

Sweet T-nickname given Teresa Speck during the now defunct "Porch Swing in Tupelo" bit.

Meat of Week-one of show's earliest and definitely longest lasting bit. For a few episodes stars would just say name of bizarre meat and move on. For the record-"pimento loaf" was first. Historians are not clear how Dean Beckman got involved nor how the idea of recipes came to be. There is a connection to Tom Marpe.

Tom Marpe-colleague of S@J. Purpose of the Meat bit was to help Tom while he was on Atkins diet.

Carmen and Rachel-pop in guests and fill in hosts during several shows in fall 2005 season. 1st spinoff of Scott and Jeff Show. Their own show debuted in Jan 2006. It was cancelled in May of 2006.

Steve Bouler-hosts the Broadway Bunch a show that precedes Scott and Jeff on KSMR. Stated that it is the radio equivalent of being the warm up band for the Beatles.

Virtual Dicke-a short lived bit that showed promise. Local celebrity Dave Dicke wasted time during his own workday at competing radio station creating rather clever audio files that Scott and Jeff played during show. They were funnier than the live DJs. Dave never appeared live-thus the "Virtual" title.

Gaby Bushman-for one glorious semester Gaby was Scott and Jeff's Technical Aspect Manager. For 15 weeks the show actually seemed to be legitimate. Then she graduated. It(the show) has never recovered.

Blichmann Engineering-1st sponsor of show. We've heard good things. He tuned into a couple shows. Guess he heard enough.

Keith(from Ohio)-1st ever webcast listener. Keith has also heard enough.

Stupid Criminals-bit from fall 2006 season. Performed by Dr. Tricia(the lesser) Klosky.

Michael Lee Rose-A "singer" and we use the term loosely who has sent stars
nearly 600 copies of the worst recordings in music history. Rumor was that he felt Scott and Jeff would be his ticket to the top.

Young go Getter-young intern Ryan Anderson, Just showed up in booth late in 2007 season. Hangs around and has "ideas" about future direction. He is waiting patiently for the death of one of the DJ's. Will take over show completely in 2021 season. Expects power struggle with Klosky about that time.

KSMR 92.5-94.3 Winona-randomly the DJ's exclaim this curious combination of letters and numbers. No one knows why.

Gas Light-student talent show that was MC'd by Scott and Jeff in March 2005. Though both stars regularly lament on air that they have "god given right" to be permanent hosts they have not been invited back. The student body has apparently heard enough.

Circus Music-what Dr. Peach said follows the two DJ's whenever they walk together.

I hate those guys-phrase muttered by many after the DJ's leave their presence or just walk by. Outright jealousy would appear to be cause of such mutterings.

Jingles-all strong brands have memorable jingles. Scott and Jeff are no exception. See the "Jingle" page for clips.

PSA played backwards-a reoccuring bit after a PSA. Scott pretends to put his hand in cd player and feverishly "play" cd backwards. The Scott and Jeff jingle then plays. Reportedly all Kiss songs played backwards also result in the S&J jingle. (Note to reader-you can't really do this)

Shelly go home-signature end of show signoff by the stars during first few seasons. It was a clue to colleague Shelly McCallum that her workday should end.
The rest of the department had checked out hours earlier.
Nancy Ocampo-for some reason Scott and Jeff took a liking to this pronunciation of SMU class of 2007 business grad, Nancy.

Stephen B. Pattee-friend of Skating Poet, frequent caller to booth in early years of show. He's heard enough.

Road Kill Squirrel Squares-in Jeff's opinion the single finest "Meat of Week " recipe ever.

Elton John-Jeff's favorite singer. Main mission of early days was to play only Elton's and Jimmy Buffett's music. The DJ's have veered slightly away from this mission.

Jimmy Buffett-Scott's favorite.....see above for rest of definition.

The Pirate-occasional guest Joe Dulak. Why the Pirate? Ask any software company!

Local Celebrities-what Scott and Jeff were till Winona Daily News Front Page Story. Winona Daily News

Regional Celebrities-current status of Scott and Jeff given forementioned press coverage.

Mindless Banter-the DJ's "competitive advantage"-when uttering phrase one should emphasize "mindless."

Syndication-only a matter of time....

Horror Movie Night- concept developed by Dr. Peach and T Bone. Most cast members have attended this event at least once except for Scott. An often poorly chosen movie from the horror genre is shown at someone's house. The viewer's blame someone for the poor selection frequently during the showing. Snacks are consumed and critiques of movie often follow. Generally TBone is very happy with movie, the Skeechic usually dissatisfied. People then return to their own homes wondering why they subject themselves to this abomination of theater.

OSHA-frequently discussed issue during early years. Reportedly, Jeff's area of expertise. Just like Seinfeld who referenced "Superman" in every episode, Jeff mentions OSHA at least once during a lecture regardless of topic.

Scott and Jeff Museum- in recent years on air discussion of this has went on ad nauseum. Animated Scott and Jeff characters, a Disney "waiting line" system, and a thrill ride through Scott's 12 x 16 office are mentioned as main attractions.

Foof-front part of T-Bone's hair. Full of sturdy "substance." It foofs up the front much like a dog's tail in "greet master" mode.

Absolute Zero-–459.67°F, –273.15°C(for Canadians) or the temperature which the larger of the two DJ's keeps their office.

Vortex-A vortex (pl. vortices) is a spinning, often turbulent, flow (or any spiral motion) with closed streamlines. The shape of media or mass swirling rapidly around a center forms a vortex. Where people who dabble in Scott and Jeff are sucked. Inexplicably, once in "their world" one finds it diffficult to extract themselves.

Ornate lampy things-description of neat feature on new Pelzer Bridge which Scott traverses on to and from the show.

Scott and Jeff Merchandise Now Available!

jhefel — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 14:40:41 CDT

Download any of the following images and go to the following site for tshirts, ties,coffee mugs, postage stamps. Just in time for whatever holiday is approaching as you read. Scott and Jeff are truly the gift that keeps on giving.

Buy your stuff here!

The "Cast"

jhefel — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 11:16:46 CDT

Matt, "Our People", Intrepid Researcher
Jeff

T Bone(Dean)

Scott
Kathy (Marketing) Ryan(young go getter)

Scott, Jeff and TBone Publicist

The "Bits"

jhefel — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 11:41:57 CDT

Scott and Jeff have utilized numerous bits over the years. Some have thankfully died. Others reoccur from time to time, Some need to return. Hopefully, the 2007 season brings some new and improved concepts.

2003(spring)- "Ben the Weather Guy," Presidential Trivia

2003-2004- Meat of the Week, Skating Poet, Tapped Object Contest, Music to Quilt By, Backwards Public Service Announcements, Pick your Poison, McCallum Medley

2004-2005-Meat of the Week, Skating Poet, Tapped Object Contest, Music to Quilt By, Backwards Public Service Announcements, Pick your Poison, Mike's Job, Virtual Dicke, McCallum medley

2005-2006-Meat of the Week, Skating Poet, Tapped Object Contest, Music to Quilt By, Backwards Public Service Announcements, Mike's Job

2006-2007-T Bone's Rancid Cut of the Week, The Amazing Skeechic, Meat of the Week, Music to Quilt By, Stupid Criminals

2007-2008-Stay or Crush, Meat of the Week

Free Download Scott and Jeff Poster

jhefel — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 11:41:00 CDT

Directions:

1) Download
2) Print on your own paper or posterboard
3) Hang on wall
4) Enjoy

Scott and Jeff "In the News"

jhefel — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 08:02:30 CDT

Blog Mention

Welcome to the News Headquarters of Scott and Jeff. Scott Deml and Jeff Hefel are two business professors at Saint Mary's University of Minnesota who co host an "award winning" college radio show on the campus station KSMR 92.5/94.3 FM. Their show airs during the school year on Thursday afternoons from 3PM-5PM. Check in for schedule and their numerous media mentions here. They were recently promoted from local to regional celebrity.
Congratulations Scott and Jeff.

Thursday May 3- The Heros finish their 10 hour Habitat Marathon on KSMR with a record $3203 in pledges. Their work will soon be recognized with a big "floppy check" presentation with the Winona, MN Habitat Chapter.

Check out the link at http://www.habitatwinona.org/se3bin/cliente.cgi?websitename=school1000172

An interesting Panoramic of the Day-courtesy of Eric Heukeshoven:Scott and Jeff panoramic

Though the megastars do other things they receive frequent media coverage:

2005 Winona Daily News Coverage

SMU Magazine CoverBoys

Cardinal Newspaper (see backpage)

Blog Mention

had a Broadway Musical?

jhefel — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 16:52:13 CDT

Recently, in London, a cab driver found the score to a new musical after Mr. Weber left his vehicle. He quickly placed the score on E-bay where it was acquired by this publication (college Radio Weekly). We had the handwriting analyzed and in fact it is written by Andrew himself.

Pieces within the musical score are entitled:

1. Marpe The Maven of Meats and a man capable of many feats. ( to be Sung by a choir in adoration, while the character of Marpe performs minor miracles on stage)

2. Mindless Banter (a chaotic tune sung in the round by 52 different people at once)

3. Sweet-Tea? How I love thee. (a solo sung by the character of Fritz Grits)

4. Whatcha doin this week Mikey. (a rockabilly tune)

5. Why T-Bone? Why. (To be sung by a medley of forest creatures to the character of T-Bone? Beckkman in a pleading manner)

6. Because your So tasty. (To be sung to a medley of forest creatures by T-Bone? Beckman in a maniacal manner)

7. Skee bop Skee bop. (a rockin little dance number sung by the characters of Matt and Tricia Klosky)

8. Recognition ..... zero. (a sad song to be sung by a sobbing disenfranchised coach huegel)

9. Point of no return (recycled from Phantom of the Opera, yet highly appropriate here)

10. Welcome to the Vortex. (to be sung by the entire cast in an evil beckoning manner)

11. Should I go? ... maybe yes ... maybe no (to be sung by the skating poet to himself in a mirror)

12. A cover of the song "We are the world" (to be sung by scott and jeff in a way it was never intended)

13. Hair cut, oil change, anything ... just get me out of here! (to be sung by the character of Dr. Judd in a frantic tone)

14. A cover of "Somewhere out there" from the movie an American Tail (to be sung by the character of shelly while sobbing, when she realizes that she can't get KSMR in Iowa)

15. A cover of David Bowie's "Fame" (sung by Scott and Jeff the way it was intended)

16. A cover of "Somewhere out there" from the movie an American Tail (to be sung by the character of Dr. Peach while sobbing, as he: falls asleep, eats, teaches, watches TV, drives his car, gets groceries, does the laundry, gets gas, etc.)

The story line, as well as the script, was not included with the musical score. We can only speculate if the songs are in the correct order and what the dialogue will be like.

Scott is Donkey Kong!

jhefel — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 10:09:20 CDT

It has long been rumored that Scott has been rehearsing at
home for his upcoming role in Nintendo's latest barrel jumping
hero's adventure. He will have to cut down on brats(pictured
here) and eat more bananas as he winds up his preparations
for his part.

Links

jhefel — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 13:38:57 CDT

Project Manager Matt's Scott and Jeff Site

Elton John's website

Jimmy Buffett's Website

Local Weather

Who pays these guys salary?

One awesome DJ

Anybody want to hire a DJ?

Habitat for Humanity-the stars favorite charity

Hall of Fame(or is it Shame?)

jhefel — Thu, 31 May 2007 14:16:40 CDT

The following have played key roles in the history of Scott and Jeff. They are no longer with us but maybe someday may they all make glorious returns.

Gaby-former Technical Aspect Manager. Solely responsible for only semester of anything coherent coming from Scott and Jeff Show.

Dave-the Skating Poet. Responsible for some of the funniest moments in S@J history. His appearances have shrunk to near 0. His performance or "lack of" in recent Habitat Radioathon relegates him to this status.

Joe(Razor Face) Tadie-made a lame limited stab at replacing Andrew Peach with a weekly dilemma. Main contribution was the discovery of Michael Lee Rose. Joe is on the right doing "Plato knows what."

Onlookers to this "Audio Train Wreck"

jhefel — Thu, 31 May 2007 06:12:07 CDT

Sweet T Coach Huegel Keith from Ohio

Carmen and Rachel

The Jingles

jhefel — Thu, 24 May 2007 18:12:57 CDT

See attachments below